I don't write that much on my blog. I promise that I will work on changing that. I've been thinking that reaching out to you weekly (Say on Sunday's) might be the best way to communicate for the time being. The title of this blog post is "thoughts and reflections". I titled it this way because I wanted to share some thoughts with you and some recent reflections that I have had.
The thing about this post is the that it is not SEO friendly. In fact, it is probably pretty non-SEO friendly. I don't have a message about music outside of the fact that I have recently written a new song. The new song that I wrote is deeply personal to me. It touches a little bit about my past.
I've thought about writing a book about my past but after talking to some of the people that would be talked about I realized that writing the book would only cause pain. It is not my goal in this life to cause pain. There has been enough pain in my life.
As I reflect on who I am today, I cannot help but look bad to who I used to me. The many different versions of Jennifer. I started off kind, filled with love in my heart and found myself losing that kindness and having the love being ripped out of me. Day by day, action by action, the person that I thought I was had become undone.
I was lost. My heart felt ripped from my body as I found myself spending more time living outside of my body rather than in it. So many memories lost. All that remained is that "feeling" that you can't explain. All that is left is a pain that aches inside of your chest.
When I thought that I could sleep my sorrows away, I found myself woefully mistaken. It was in my dreams that where my nightmares revived my fears and my experiences. I thought that the torment would never end. I wanted it to end so desperately to find relief.
I was blessed to find solace. My life transformed when I was accepted into the performing arts school. The pain now was gone, but the wounds remained. It took me years to heal the wounds, and even today I would be remiss if I didn't acknowledge that I still have scars.
That's the thing about living and experiences. Sometimes it hurts. Sometimes you are wounded. Sometimes you are left with scars. You always have a chose whether you see yourself as a victim or as a survivor. Which one are you? Post your comments below. I will do my best to respond.