The Song "Breaking My Soul"

When I was sitting down and thinking about what I was going to write, I remember a melody popping into my head and I went with it. The music filled my soul, and I found myself feeling this sad emotion. People often ask me what my inspiration is for the songs that I write because they seem to come from a sad place. It is hard to explain because I am not a depressed person overall.

I have been blessed to have a great family. My husband and my two children love and support me throughout all of my struggles and successes. That's why I think it makes some people wonder "where does this come from?".

What I do is I listen, I hear the world around me. I listen to people when they share their stories with me. I hear them. Their stories touch my heart. Whenever I find myself feeling sad and don't know how to process that emotion music fills me from within my being. At first, I will just sing along creating a melody as I go. 

When I am feeling "intelligent," I write the thoughts down. Once I have them written down I'll go back to that at another time. If I am able to pull that same emotion back the second time I will keep the song. If not, I will discard it.

With this song "breaking my soul" I had a muse. He was struggling in his life with what he wanted to do. He was so unhappy and I watched him sabotage his work, his relationship, everything. When I wrote the song I put myself into his space. I asked myself "What must he be going through?" and I build something from there. 

I think fear has a way of stopping most people from pressing on and moving forward. He was about to be a father and that terrified him. Yet, after the baby was born all of the fear and doubt faded away. He embraced it. It was inspiring to me. 

The first few lines where it talks about "I thought I wouldn't stand up..." that was when he was thinking that he wasn't meant to have that life. He wasn't sure he could be a husband and a father. He felt invisible in his own home. He had become isolated from his family. 

Our thoughts are so powerful. They can build us up or tear us down. At the end of the day, he was able to overcome that inner struggle. Today he is in a happy relationship with a baby boy that he cherishes. These moments that inspire us and remind us that it is going to be OK. 

That's where the motivation came from this song. Of course, I put a little of myself into as well but mostly it was his story. A person who's life temporarily connected with mine. I'll keep sharing the inspirations for my songs if you want to keep hearing them. Let me know. As I meet new people and listen to their stories sometimes I find inspiration. Sometimes, I am just an ear.